Christmas!!

Love it. Love it. Love it.
I got a goat for Christmas. It's kinda funny really cause I have wanted one ever since we moved in to our place, and I finally got one. However, not exactly how I thought. I wanted a real life one, and well, since who knows how much longer we will be living here, that seemed like a silly idea. So, for christmas Bran and I exchanged gifts in an unconventional way. I got a goat (from Bran) for a family in need. And I gave Bran a 'small business loan for a woman' ! So fun!! Merry Christmas to us!! I think this has been my favorite Christmas of all. We didn't really do gifts this year with either one of our families. And I loved every minute of it!

A Fair/bizarre in Oside

Here are a few links to some amazing new organizations I just learned about. They all got together to bring awareness to what is going on in other places in the world. It was held right here in Oceanside by the Pier. It is so exciting, overwhelming, and amazing to see what people are doing in the name of Jesus, all around the world!!

http://www.31bits.com/

http://www.nikawater.org/

http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/

http://breakingchains.ning.com/

Trust in Him

Crazy Love, pg 123. "Jesus was forcing his disciples to trust HIm. God would have to come through for them because they had nothing else to fall back on. This place of trust isn't a comfortable place to be; in fact, if flies in the face of everything we've been taught about proper planning. We like finding refuge in what we already have rather than in what we hope God will provide. But when Christ says to count the cost of following Him, it means we must surrender everything. It means being willing to go without an extra tunic or place to sleep at night, and sometimes without knowing where we are going"

That is it. That is exactly where Brandon and I stand right now. Unsure of where we are going- sure in the fact that He wants us to trust Him. He wants obedience from me. No excuses. This is what I struggle with right now. I feel I can say, " I am ready Father, take me" But, I wanna know the when and where. It's almost as if my willingness to go is based on that. I'll go... when I know what I am doing. He might allow some to know the details, but not us, not now anyway. He is saying, "Follow Me". He told the disciples the same thing. They didn't get to know what was next. Where they were going, what they were going to do. So why should it be any different for me? Why do I think I get to see the where and when, and then say yes or no?? It is not based on that!! It is a simple yes or no answer. I seem to get it mixed up so easily-like I might change my mind if I knew the specifics. I would have to then argue that it's not a genuine yes, I will follow you. It has a contingency plan. But, He is telling me, loud and clear- that is not really following Him then. So, I am learning to trust in Him. To really follow Him. One day at a time.

The Holy Spirit

It's funny.I don't think I have ever felt the Holy Spirit move the way He is now-and in the last few months. It could be because I have actually started to ask Him to-and when I do, he usually does. Does it mean he always has been, and I have learned to ignore him? Or perhaps I have ignored him for so long, that he has stopped whispering in my ear. Would you continue to share and talk with someone if they NEVER responded back to you? I would give up on them. Well, thank goodness He never gives up on me-cause I need a lot of grace. And He has made it clear that in order to learn about Him and from Him, I need to ask for it. So I have been. And wow. He never ceases to amaze me. Every single day, really. Sometimes it is through a verse, passage, book, sermon, song. Other times it's creation that makes me feel him right there with me.
(Just the other day, during a crazy rain storm we had, I bundled up in rain gear and went to the bottom of our land. I am telling you, God was there. In the rain, the wind, the stream that was gushing by me. I felt a small glimpse of His might and power in that storm. It made me think of Rev 4. A verse that has been on my heart for a few weeks now. I need to be consistently reminded how awesome and powerful my God is. How beautiful, majestic, and holy He is.)
Sometimes it's the way He prompts me to do or say something, and when I actually listen, I stand amazed.

Crazy Love

Crazy Love
By Francis Chan

"Stop talking AT God for a while, but instead take a long hard look at Him before you speak another word". pg1

I must confess, so often I 'pray' to God, and that includes a bunch of my ramblings, begging for forgiveness,some thanksgiving, petition, and requests. Then Amen. I am working on listening to God. Being quiet in His presence. So far, I can only do about ten minutes at a time. If I sit too long, too many things vie for my attention. I have found if I go for a stroll, or look around at nature, I find it easier than sitting on a chair in the house with my eyes closed. Strange, I think, cause that is not at all what I would have thought. This will be a work in progress, but am confident the more I do it, the longer I will be able to quietly sit before Him.

Here I am

I decided that I needed a place to write. I have tried journals, and like this option fairly well. The only problem is, I type faster than I write. Yet, the problem with typing is that I have the opportunity to go back and edit things/spell check,etc-which in turn could mean that I produce the same amount of rambling whether or not I am using a keyboard or a pen. Nonetheless, here I am.

God is amazing. I feel as if I am beginning a new relationship. The God that I have been privileged to know my entire life has not changed, at all. However, I feel as if I am just "re-discovering" Him. This has been going on in the last few years, pry the last two years really, but that is too much back tracking. He is revealing himself to me on a daily, weekly basis. I am wanting and desiring Him more and more. I get excited to learn more about Him, talk to Him, listen to him. I finally might get a glimpse of what it means to be Jesus bride. That is the kind of intimate relationship He desires to have with me. With me! Just like the one I have with my husband but better!! Better. No sin. No strings attached. But, just as with any relationship it takes two to make it work. God has made it clear he wants me, but do I really want him? Not just in a check it off the list, read my Bible, said my prayer before I ate kinda way. He wants all of me. Every part. Every thought. Every action-they all should glorify Him.

I am reading/listening to so many great things. It's amazing what will pierce your heart when you ask God to open your heart before you do those kinds of things. So, through this journey I wanna share snip-its of those things.

So, I guess that's all for now. Maybe I'll just start a new post. ! !